“The Healing Cannot Occur If The Wounding Continues”- Drjbattle
Now that we have rebooted our souls by speaking our truth, seeking safety, releasing fear and creating compassion for ourselves, we need to start our repair.
One of the first ways to repairing your heart so that it is not so heavy is letting go of anger.
Anger can rear its ugly head- in the form of daily frustrations or even deep-seated resentment.
Whatever you did- whether you snapped at a loved one, had a bit of road rage, or just gotten frustrated over the world as a whole not “doing what you wanted it to”- you’ve become angry, and often done something as a result that left you less-than-happy with yourself.
I know how this feels as well.
There are two temporary ways of dealing with anger:
- Stepping away from it– This doesn’t work long term because we only end up coming back to the same situation and having the same reaction to it- anger.
- “Blowing off steam”– This means to take out that anger and frustration on something else, something generally less “harmful” (like a punching bag). But this breeds a bad tendency altogether: that to handle your anger and frustration you believe you need to damage something else.
Then there are ways to overcome anger, let it go, and prevent it from arising in the first place.
One way is to identify the expectation & let it go
We expect to get home by a certain time, we expect to have fun on the weekend, we expect to have an enjoyable night after we get off of work, we expect our kids to behave, we expect this and that….
It’s pretty irrational, but if you take time to think about it we live our entire lives with all kinds of irrational expectations. And it’s when the world doesn’t align with these expectations that we most often get angry.
In this case, the very knowledge of that truth is often all that’s needed to begin creating healing.
When you notice yourself become angry, develop the habit to do this simple exercise:
- Acknowledge the anger mindfully and show compassion and understanding to self.
- Realize the expectation
- Let go of the expectation. This is accepting the present moment fully “as it is”, however that is.
Ultimately, this exercise has the ability to teach you that these expectations are very much resistance of the present moment, or reality itself. We try to change the world around us constantly to fit what we want (that’s what it’s all about for so many of us), and when it doesn’t conform, we get angry.
Learn to let go of these expectations and start your repair.
Learn more in my upcoming book, From “Abuse to Abundance” and upcoming online course, “Reboot, Repair, Rebirth”, a simple program that you can do on your own time. You can reach out to me here, on social media @drjbattle or follow my professional Facebook pages Reboot Repair Rebirth and Dr. Jamila Battle & Associates, PA where i share fun and inspiring news burst.
Always remember: if you think you are not quite ready for healing, don’t despair.
Keep reading, keep learning and think about the benefits of making changes.
Always remember you are not alone. Talk to a friend, talk to your doctor, talk to your teachers, talk to someone at church, find a way to share your burden and I will be here when you are ready. We love you and stay safe. Take the first simple step and start with your safety plan today. You can find example safety plans on my website www.drjamilabattle.com under the “ask Dr. J” tab or by clicking here.